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Funny Holiday Stories

Funny Holiday Stories

Postby marcliff » Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:31 am

As the forum appears to be getting a bit serious, what with property sales, parking, busy areas and so on, how about a little lightening up and telling us what funny bits have happened to you on holiday.
I'll kick it off with a cruise we did a few years ago. One of the stops was in Antigua. Beautiful island, we'd done the tourist bit by taxi, saw Nelson's Dockyard, all the areas around and then stopped at a beach for a few hours.
Got a sunbed with brolly but still extremely hot. The OH decided it was getting a bit warm so I suggested she go and sit in the shade of some coconut palms. The very nice, and dreadlocked guys, who set up the beach beds said come and sit here. They were jolly nice chaps, very friendly and enjoying a cigarette or two.
About 10 minutes later, my OH started giggling. I thought, ooh, they've told her something funny. As she started giggling a bit more, I realised those cigarettes probably didn't contain Virginia's finest tobacco.
Had to take her into the water (which was, by the way, fantastic) to calm her down a bit.
Possibly the only time in her life she'd had a "high" from second hand Ganja.

Any other dits?
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby Gary2410 » Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:53 am

Not really a holiday story but......

when my parents first moved over here and my dad being a bit naive to the 'ladies of the roundabouts'. The first 'ladies' he saw were on a road to San Miguel and they were always near the fruit orchards. He wondered how much they were paid to look after the fruit so no one would steal it. He actually thought they were employed to do this job. Lol

Think it was a bit more than minimum wage for what they did haha
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby Simp » Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:29 am

Camping in Tariffa - windy, wet, the 5 Sevilla university students next door asked me into their tent. 1) they to practice their English and 2) I practice my Spanish. Coffee? Si. Cig'? Non. After several coffees and they having 2 cig's (wacky baccy) each, I got on my magic carpet and floated back to the motor van. Could not remember one extra word of Spanish.
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby nigieboy » Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:59 am

Lemon tree road ladies..
When I first drove along this road it was very busy traffic wise.
I said to my other half...there must be a serious traffic problem ..look they're all on I pads logging the flow...
....until I saw the lady with the mini skirt and very low cut top..
Ever since they've been "the survey ladies"..
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby TonTri » Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:22 am

This one has only been relayed to me as I wasnt there, but I thought it funny enough to share.

Many moons ago we lived on the Isle of Wight. We met, married and our kids spent their early years there. One school summer holiday when the kids were about 5 and 6, my husband decided to take them for a walk along the Brading river. The walk was through fields of cows so husband warned the kids to watch out for cowpats.

After a while, they got tired and sat down for a rest. You can guess, husband sat slap bang into a cowpat. The kids fell around laughing and have never let him forget it to this day.
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby Joyce » Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:35 am

That's brilliant, keep it up
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby Anniep » Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:34 am

In Luxor airport , I was going through passport control, and the man looked at me looked at my passport photo and just shook his head and said that's not you! True in the photo I had blond hair and was fatter but didn't look that different or so I thought! But the guy was having none of it, my husband was in the next queue laughing his head off! After taking out my driving licence to show that and a supervisor being called over I was left in. Had visions of spending my holiday in the airport whilst hubby went on our Nike cruise alone!
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby marcliff » Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:46 am

Going across the Mexican border from Belize and having passports checked. Police guy, typical Mexican with sweat stains under his armpits, low slung pistol, belt under his belly, came over to me. I had the book "Boys from Brazil" with a big swastika on the cover in my hand and he says "Ay senor, are you a Nazi?"
Oops, visions of spending the weekend in some Mexican jail.
"No", says I, "it's just a book I'm reading".
"Ay, that's a shame", he replies, "we have a meeting every Tuesday".
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby Youngy » Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:49 am

I told my grandchildren the ladies who sit on Lemon Tree Road were selling melons. Not a million miles away as it happens !!!!
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Re: Funny Holiday Stories

Postby siestasunbeds » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:40 pm

Regarding the Lemon Tree Ladies..." Mum" said my 9 year old daughter, "Wouldn't you like to do that job I won't tell Dad " . To this day and now she is 14 I don't know what she thinks they do !!! We are out again at Easter I think perhaps it's time to tell her .
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