Keep the story going

maggots with picked onions and garlic!! The smell was nauseating! I was beckoned to join some of the elders at the table, where these "delicacies had been laid out! The alien children were waiting to eat. They were not allow to eat until their elders had eaten. I thought, "This situation is so like the situation in my own home, where my children are seen but not heard, and never argue about anything". Could this ideology transpose to my own home? A feeling of ........

heaven on earth?

I came quickly back down to earth when It became apparent that the Aliens were inviting me to eat with them. Luckily I remembered the golden rule of Alien Integration which was 'eat the same food, drink the same drink, blend in with the Alien culture and always buy Alien local products' or risk being ostracised as a bad foreigner. Thinking quickly in the best Basil Fawlty fashion, in an effort to distract the feeding process, I clutched at my chest and fell to the floor. Then with one eye half-open I saw..

a Baggies scarfe out of the corner of my eye, then I knew I was dreaming because....

I saw Frank Lampard wearing it! Never would he be seen dead with one of those on!! So I concentrated on the problem before me - the invitation to "the feast". One of the aliens came towards me and lifted me up, and sat me at the table. He indicated that I should take something, so I picked up a glass of brown liquid and drank from the glass. All of a sudden there was a tremendous cackle from the group, and they clapped their hands. Had I passed the initiation test?? No, I had just swallowed a glass of vinegar!! This caused much amusement and clapping of hands. Then one laughing alien came over to me, and gave me an almighty slap on the back, and ....

asked me if I wanted a job but I told him....

your an alien, an illegal alien. I'm an Englishman in Don Carlos.

What if we went to your planet. Would there be

real jobs for real men or just Aliens, in that case I will..

Just lie down and have a ...