Boom Boom

Made us laugh this morning keep them coming x

Borrowed the Doris joke thank you, it's on Boris Johnson - Not my PM! (Thank God)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/477071349613907/

I looking online for the pattern

I've worked out the coronavirus!

WOMEN CREATED IT!!

Think about it lads.....
1 - No sports
2 - all pubs are shut
3 - 14 days quarantine (so you can finally get all those odd jobs done)
4 - Symptoms of Corona are like having the flu.....THEY KNOW FLU IS OUR KRYPTONITE!
5 - They even named it after a beer to wind us up

Share this far and wide lads, before they (women) take it down
If I go missing you all know I've hit the nail on the head and I've been taken out by the women's institute


We love you all really ladies

***keep calm and carry on***

A bloke knocked on my door this morning and asked if I wanted his car at no charge.

“What are you doing that for?” I asked.

“Well” he says “I don’t want that car owners virus”

Thanks for the laughs guys! Much needed at the moment!!

We are going shopping on Monday to stock up. Unlike all those panic buyers with several trolleys filled to the brim, my wife and I are going to be pubic spirited and limit ourselves to one trolley only.

Why not keep it going, I've got plenty!


Went into the chemist and asked an assistant "What gets rid of coronavirus?"
She said "Ammonia cleaner"
I said "I'm sorry, I thought you worked here"


I'm just of the phone to RSPA to tell them I found four kittens in a suitcase by side of the road.
"Are they moving?" the young lady asked.
"Oh I never thought of that." I said "It would certainly explain the suitcase."
I feel daft now.


"Darling" I pleaded, "don't scratch while we're making love."
"Shhh" she replied, "I think I've won a tenner!

Guy goes into a Spanish restaurant and has a delicious meal of meat balls. At the end of the meal he asks the waiter exactly what it was. He said they are the testicles of bull. A couple of days later the guy goes back to the same restaurant and is disappointed with the meal this time as the meat balls were much smaller. The waiter apologies by saying " sometimes the bull he win.

Tell me if you want me to stop!

That's my shopping done for the weekend