Boom Boom

It's a cold winter night with snow on the ground when a young lad goes round to call for his girlfriend. Her father opens the door to him and says, "Ah young man, I want a word with you. Last night when you bought my daughter home, you had a wee in my front garden behind the hedge."
"How did you know that," asks the boy.
"Well it was your name written in wee in the snow."
The young lad looked embarrassed and said, "I bet you did the same thing when you were young."
"Yes I did," said the father, "but not in my daughter's handwriting."

Has anybody got a bigger pot, I've now acquired a fat cat and it won't fit in this pot

Chrisdee wrote:(as I hide for cover|)

sofa.jpg

What size do you want and can you pick it up next Caterday, if the weather is puuurfect!

Chap in hospital on a ventilator.
In comes a nurse. "Excuse me, nurse, but are my testicles black?"
Nurse in embarrassment, "Well, I really couldn't say".
"Please nurse, are my testicles black?"
Nurse thinking poor chap is a bit worried and it might cause him anxiety if I don't humour him. Lifts up his gown, holds his manhood in her hands and says "No, sir, they seem perfectly alright".
Chap pulls down his mask and says "Thank you for that nurse but listen carefully, are my test results back?"

Last night i tried sharing a bag of chips with a homeless man who was sat on a bench.
He said sod off and get your own bloody chips.

The man who first thought of boiling an egg, wrapping it in sausage meat, rolling in breadcrumbs, then frying it, has sadly passed away.

Scott Chegg will be dearly missed by those who knew him.