Boom Boom

My mate was out on tbe lash last night and came home chuffed to goolies with the old English Sheep dog he bought from a bloke in the pub.

Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.

Quick as a flash Trump said “I need one. I’m the smartest man in the USA and am needed to sort out the problems of the World!’, takes one and jumps.

Boris said ‘I’m needed to sort out Britain’. He takes one and jumps.

The Pope said ‘I need one as the world needs the Catholic Church.’ He takes one and jumps.

Angela said to the ten year old: "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only just starting."

The 10 year old replied: "Don’t worry, there are 2 parachutes left, the smartest man in the USA took my school bag."

You're a bit slow, think this has been on here twice already, you must do better

A.N.Other wrote:Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.

Quick as a flash Trump said “I need one. I’m the smartest man in the USA and am needed to sort out the problems of the World!’, takes one and jumps.

Boris said ‘I’m needed to sort out Britain’. He takes one and jumps.

The Pope said ‘I need one as the world needs the Catholic Church.’ He takes one and jumps.

Angela said to the ten year old: "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only just starting."

The 10 year old replied: "Don’t worry, there are 2 parachutes left, the smartest man in the USA took my school bag."

A.N.Other wrote:Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, The Pope and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes.

I refer the honorable gentleman to page 1 of this thread.

Hey, I have trouble remembering what I did yesterday so 10 days ago no chance!

In mitigation.


When I was younger I hated going to weddings. All my aunts and the other female ancients would come up to me, poke me in the ribs and tell me, "You'll be next."

They soon stopped that when I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.




Wife said to me "Look at the state of him now", pointing at this drunk guy.
I asked, "Do you know him?"
She said, "Yes, he proposed to me when I was 18 and I knocked him back."
I said "And he's still celebrating