Boom Boom

In light of recent of panic buying, supermarkets have introduced purchase limits.

Mercadona: 2 hand sanitisers, 24 toilet rolls max.

Consum: 1 Hand sanitiser, 18 toilet rolls & 2kg rice.

Mas Y Mas: 12 rolls toilet paper, 1Kg rice.


Aldi: 2 plastic Trumpets, 1 diving suit , & a MIG welder.

I went to the bank earlier and two guys came in wearing masks!

There was TOTAL PANIC!!!!

They shouted ''this is a robbery''

that was such a relief I can tell ya, we all calmed down.

As see on the news headlines,

John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus.

But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever, and he will be Staying Alive.

Don't you feel sorry for Philip Schofield.All that drama to come out and now he has to stay in.

What a day. I’ve just been stopped by the police.

The cop said I was speeding and asked me for my licence. I told him I didn’t have one as I was serving a ban for drunk driving. He then asked me for the registration and insurance documents. I told him I didn’t have them as I had stolen the car, murdered the owner and stuffed his body in the boot. He lurched back and radioed for back up. In the blink of an eye I was surrounded by cops including an armed response unit. A senior officer told me to get out the car and lie on the road while another opened the boot to find it empty.
“This officer said you hax murdered the owner and stuffed his body in the boot.” He shouted at me.
“I’m the owner”I answered.
“The officer said you don’t have registration and insurance documents.”
“I do!” I said “They’re in the glove box beside my licence”
“The officer said you didn’t have a licence”
“OH!” I shouted ” AND I’LL BET THE LYING B45T4RD SAID I WAS SPEEDING TOO.”

I do love this thread. It's so refreshing after all the doom and gloom, keep them coming