Boom Boom

Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and found a quiet hotel
for their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.
He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed."
The clerk winked, 'You want the 'Bridal'?'
The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied,
"Nah, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it."

ME: What's the Wifi password?
BARTENDER: You need to buy a drink first.
ME: I'll have a coke.
BARTENDER: Is Pepsi ok?
ME: Sure...how much is that?
BARTENDER: £3.
ME: There you go, now what's the Wifi password?
BARTENDER: You need to buy a drink first.no space and all lowercase.

YOU WILL LAUGH OUT LOUD!!
AND THEN YOU WILL FORWARD TO EVERYONE WITH
THAT BIG SMILE ON YOUR FACE!
The value of a Catholic education and a pencil.
Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School .
Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
'Tell me Susie, who created the universe? '
When Susie didn ' t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
'God Almighty! ' shouted Susie.
The Nun said, ' Very good ' and continued teaching her class..
A little later the Nun asked Susie, ' Who is our Lord and Savior? '
But Susie didn ' t stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.
'Jesus Christ!!! ' shouted Susie.
And the Nun once again said, ' Very good, ' and Susie fell back asleep..
The Nun asked her a third question... ' What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? '
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted,
'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I ' ll break it in
half! '
The nun fainted !

A bit of Spanish practice for you...
(If you don't get it, I'll put it up in English!)

Remember stamps

For those of you who didn't get my Spanish one above, here's the translation

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able
to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a
piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is
driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'