Join Talk Quesada
Welcome to Talk Quesada! My name's Alex and this is my website all about Ciudad Quesada in Spain. Talk Quesada is free to sign up and use so register below!
Boom Boom
Re: Boom Boom
by andywyatt » Tue Dec 14, 2021 4:56 pm
A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students.
She turned to her class and said, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “Well, that would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you behave for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
That’s when the teacher fainted…
She turned to her class and said, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “Well, that would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you behave for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
That’s when the teacher fainted…
-
andywyatt - Posts: 666
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:50 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Torrevieja
- Gender: Male
Re: Boom Boom
by andywyatt » Tue Dec 14, 2021 5:56 pm
Subject: FW: Mad Cow Disease
I don't know how true this is as far as -
"MAD COW DISEASE" is concerned but it would definitely make any one upset !!!
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of mad cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ...
The interview went as as follows:-
The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
Reporter (obviously embarrassed) : "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information. . but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"
Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"
Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"
Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day ... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad ?"
The program was never aired . . . . .
I don't know how true this is as far as -
"MAD COW DISEASE" is concerned but it would definitely make any one upset !!!
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of mad cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ...
The interview went as as follows:-
The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
Reporter (obviously embarrassed) : "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information. . but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"
Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"
Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"
Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day ... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad ?"
The program was never aired . . . . .
-
andywyatt - Posts: 666
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:50 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Torrevieja
- Gender: Male
Re: Boom Boom
by andywyatt » Thu Dec 16, 2021 4:12 pm
A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students.
She turned to her class and said, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “Well, that would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you behave for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
That’s when the teacher fainted…
She turned to her class and said, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “Well, that would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you behave for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
That’s when the teacher fainted…
-
andywyatt - Posts: 666
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:50 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Torrevieja
- Gender: Male
Re: Boom Boom
by Martin the artist » Wed Dec 22, 2021 12:14 pm
Here’s your reminder that if you come into contact with someone with Covid, you must…..
-
Martin the artist - Posts: 3269
- Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:36 am
- Location: Rojales
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Rojales
- Gender: Male
- jpeg
- Posts: 9399
- Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:24 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Dolores
- Gender: Male
-
andywyatt - Posts: 666
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:50 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Torrevieja
- Gender: Male
- jpeg
- Posts: 9399
- Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:24 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Dolores
- Gender: Male
Re: Boom Boom
by Martin the artist » Wed Dec 22, 2021 1:53 pm
Just say it out loud with her name... Tess Daly
-
Martin the artist - Posts: 3269
- Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:36 am
- Location: Rojales
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Rojales
- Gender: Male
- jpeg
- Posts: 9399
- Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:24 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Dolores
- Gender: Male
Re: Boom Boom
by andywyatt » Wed Dec 22, 2021 7:48 pm
"]Mr. Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker
It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street and had a drink in the Mars Bar.
He asked her name.
‘Polo. I’m the one with a hole’ she said with a Wispa.
‘I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts’ he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.
Soon they were Heart Throbs.
It was a Fab moment as she screamed with Turkish Delight.
But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip started to itch.
Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset and he had Allsorts!!
It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street and had a drink in the Mars Bar.
He asked her name.
‘Polo. I’m the one with a hole’ she said with a Wispa.
‘I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts’ he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.
Soon they were Heart Throbs.
It was a Fab moment as she screamed with Turkish Delight.
But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip started to itch.
Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset and he had Allsorts!!
-
andywyatt - Posts: 666
- Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:50 am
- Which part of Spain are you from?: Torrevieja
- Gender: Male
Return to Quesada general discussion
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Patriciaann and 132 guests
Login
Find in Quesada
Quesada pages
Quesada discussion
- Quesada general discussion
- Banking and finances
- Broadband, Wifi, Phone and TV
- Buses and public transport in and around Quesada
- Driving to Spain / Car hire in Spain / Buying and owning a car in Spain
- Fiestas in Quesada
- Flights, baggage and airports
- Health services in Quesada
- Insurances and wills in Spain
- Items for sale and wanted in and around Quesada
- Interesting articles about Spain
- Jobs and careers in Quesada
- Lost and found in Quesada
- Market days
- Places to go for free Wi-Fi
- Recommended restaurants / cafes / bars
- Recommended Tradesmen and Companies
- Residency in Spain: padron, residencia and passport advice
- Safety / security information and property in Spain hints and tips
- Taxes in Spain: Suma, NIE and general tax advice
- Taxis in Quesada
- Things to do and places to go in and around Quesada
- Utilities in Spain: Electric, gas and water recommendations and advice
- Weather in Quesada
- Where to buy things in and around Quesada
- Where to hire things in and around Quesada
Properties discussion
Businesses and places in Quesada
- Bars and pubs in Quesada
- Beaches near Quesada
- Beauticians / Beauty salons in Quesada
- Bedding and soft furnishings shops in Quesada
- Butchers in Quesada
- Car dealers in Quesada: new and used car dealers
- Car garages, mechanics, tyre fitter centres in Quesada
- Car hire in Quesada
- DIY / Bricolage / Ferreteria stores in Quesada
- Equipment hire centers in Quesada
- Estate agents in Quesada
- Furniture shops in Quesada
- Garden centres and garden furniture shops in Quesada
- Golf Courses in Quesada
- Grills / gates / metal items shops in Quesada
- Hairdressers in Quesada
- Hotels, guest houses and bed and breakfasts in Quesada and nearby
- Internet service providers that cover Quesada
- Launderettes / dry cleaners in Quesada
- Markets in Quesada
- Medical / Health centers in Quesada
- Pet shops in Quesada
- Pharmacies / Chemist shops in Quesada
- Restaurants in Quesada
- Shopping centres in Quesada
- Sports centres and gyms in Quesada
- Supermarkets in Quesada
- Swimming pool services in Quesada
- Town Halls (Ayuntamientos) in Quesada
- Waterparks/Aquaparks in Quesada
- TalkQuesada » Board index
- The team • Delete all board cookies • All times are UTC [ DST ]
- Our other websites:
- Costa Blanca forum
- Costa Calida forum
- Costa del Sol forum
- Costa de Almeria forum
- Costa de la Luz forum
- Costa Dorada forum
- Costa Brava forum
- UK forum
- Jobs in the UK
- Our policies:
- Privacy policy
- User agreement
- Content policy
- Website created and operated by JSM Forum Websites