Boom Boom

A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students.
She turned to her class and said, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “Well, that would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you behave for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
That’s when the teacher fainted…

Subject: FW: Mad Cow Disease
I don't know how true this is as far as -
"MAD COW DISEASE" is concerned but it would definitely make any one upset !!!
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of mad cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter ...
The interview went as as follows:-
The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
Reporter (obviously embarrassed) : "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information. . but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"
Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"
Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"
Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day ... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad ?"
The program was never aired . . . . .

A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students.
She turned to her class and said, “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “Well, that would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you behave for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
That’s when the teacher fainted…

Here’s your reminder that if you come into contact with someone with Covid, you must…..

Must what ????????????????

Isolate with her I would imagine.

No way, too skinny

Just say it out loud with her name... Tess Daly

I see said the blind man

"]Mr. Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker
It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street and had a drink in the Mars Bar.
He asked her name.
‘Polo. I’m the one with a hole’ she said with a Wispa.
‘I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts’ he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.
Soon they were Heart Throbs.
It was a Fab moment as she screamed with Turkish Delight.
But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip started to itch.
Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset and he had Allsorts!!