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Boom Boom

Boom Boom

Postby Chrisdee » Fri Mar 20, 2020 2:52 pm

This Morning while i was doing breakfast, with my mind fixed on whether Sharon next door was going to Mercadona for the fourth day in a row, , Buying yet more Toilet rolls, and Hand cleanser, (Dont know why, dirty cow never washes) I went to place my toast on the plate, " Que Sorpresa" The hot buttered toast slipped, double somersaulted and cascaded to the floor.
To my astonishment and totally taken aback, the delicious hot buttered toast only landed butter side up, as i picked it up i couldn't compose myself and danced round the kitchen crying it is a miracle. Well with all my excitement i thought i have to share this with the world, so i took it to my local church and told Padre McManus my story and asked him to declare it as a Miracle, He said i do not have the power to grant your hot buttered toast landing butter side up a miracle, we will have to see what the bishop has to say, so we both made our way to to the cathedral. and explained to the Bishop and the gathered Cardinals, that my Hot buttered toast had cascaded to the floor and landed butter side up so therefore must be a miracle. After much deliberation the bishop did not have the authority to grant the occurrence as a miracle, and would have to be put before the pope, So making our way to the Vatican, and waiting in line while the police Fined Sharon for over loading her pram. our audience with the pope was Granted, so with sheer excitement,, I explained how my hot buttered toast had slipped of my plate, double somersaulted to the floor and landed butter side up Praise the Lord this Must be a Miracle, The Pope looked at me and said, My Child, there is an explanation for this, it is Not a miracle,,,,,,,,,,, You Have Buttered it the wrong side


Keep smiling
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby hobnob » Fri Mar 20, 2020 3:27 pm

I was in a country pub having a beer when in walked the M1 Motorway...he walked to the bar and said give me a beer. The barman said "who are you"...I am the M1 motorway said he...look at how tough I am with big hard shoulders...where is that beer...OK said the barman and poured the beer. A minute or so later in walks the A30...who are you says the barman...I am the A30 says he...I am long and have a tough surface ...give me a beer...OK says the barman and pours the beer. Another minute or so passes and into the bar walks a Thin Red LIne...at this point both the Motorway and the A road run and hide under the table...whats up with you two says the barman...Don,t serve the Thin Red Line with alcohol says the Motorway...Why says the Barman...He,s a Cycle Path says the M1...

First heard that when I was about 15...now almost Seventy and its still makes me laugh ...Boom Boom.
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby Chrisdee » Fri Mar 20, 2020 3:34 pm

sofa.jpg
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby Lockey57 » Fri Mar 20, 2020 4:03 pm

Leo, Boris, Trump, Pope Francis & Mary a ten year old Irish girl were on a flight with just 4 parachutes . As the plane went down they were short one parachute, they agreed Leo should go first when he said ‘I need to sort out the corona virus in Ireland,I need one ‘ & off he went, Boris was next and said ‘Im the smartest man in England, I simply cannot die, I have to survive’, and out he jumped with a parachute, next was Trump and he said ‘I’m need to keep America great and sort out this corona virus’ and out he jumped.. one parachute left, Pope Francis said , little Mary you take it, I have lived a good life, you are young with your whole life ahead of you... take it. Mary replied.. it’s ok Francis, there’s two parachutes left, the smartest man in England took my school bag!!
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby Half-full » Fri Mar 20, 2020 7:56 pm

China just released the name of the first person with the Cornavirus:
Ah Chu
:oops:
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby daz » Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:37 pm

As if it wasn't bad enough being Dyslexic,

now I've got this flamin Racoon virus too!
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby daz » Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:39 pm

And what about those companies who make sanitising gel,

they must be rubbing their hands together.
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby daz » Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:40 pm

Experts are confident that washing our hands regularly will combat coronavirus,

but say they are expecting an outbreak of OCD.
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby daz » Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:41 pm

Went shopping earlier, now got cupboards absolutely full of oxo cubes, enough to last us years! ...

I’m not sure I’ve got the hang of this stock piling
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Re: Boom Boom

Postby JaseBear » Sat Mar 21, 2020 9:00 am

I ran out of toilet paper this morning and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.
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